is he talking about that little cut?
i was going to go to bed but it’s time to smack down so im gonna inform you all of a thing or two about the comparison between male and female victims of domestic violence that might shock you.
Similarities and differences between male and female victims
In the South Australian study, the similarities between male and female victims of domestic violence included.
- the reasons they remained in a relationship where there was violence and abuse
- the triggers for violence and abuse;
- feelings of shame and embarrassment associated with the disclosure of violence.
The ways in which male victims’ experiences of domestic violence differed from females’ were:
- males reported that they were not living in an ongoing state of fear of the perpetrator;
- males did not have prior experiences of violent relationships, and
- males rarely experienced post-separation violence and, in the one reported case, it was far less severe than in male-to-female violence.
Female victims of domestic violence in the South Australian study confirmed the prevalence of physical, psychological, emotional, social and financial abuse (often in combination) as well as other intimidating or controlling forms of abuse, such as stalking, sleep deprivation or driving a car too fast (*The South Australian phone-in interviewed 120 callers, most of whom were female victims of violence. The female respondents reported all forms of abuse and often the various forms of abuse overlapped in one abusive event.) They also described patterns of extreme cruelty that often developed in long-term, violent relationships with ‘strategies’ of abuse becoming more diverse over time.
95% of those interviewed reported that they had experienced abuse over a period of years. In many relationships, acts of cruelty were carried out on the women, the children in the family (as primary and secondary victims) and on family pets. Humiliation, cruelty, jealousy, isolation from friends and family and the infliction of emotional, sexual or physical pain were common experiences. Victims frequently spoke of the abusers’ need to control all aspects of their life, both in and away from the house.
The link between the length of the relationship and the experience of cruelty was particularly notable, especially as the common theme in the women’s accounts was their daily experience of living in fear. The findings indicated that the vast majority of female victims were frightened of their partner, compared to none of the male victims.
Although there is some evidence that both men and women engage in abusive behaviour in heterosexual relationships, the nature and consequence of women’s violence is not equivalent to men’s in the following ways.
- Men’s violence is more severe:
- Women are more likely to be killed by current and former male partners than by anyone else;
- most male homicides are committed by males in public places as a result of alcohol-related arguments;
- the main reasons men kill their female partners are desertion, the ending of a relationship, and jealousy. However studies of wives who kill their husbands reveal that there is a history of marital violence in more than 70% of the cases and over half of the husband killings occur in response to an immediate threat or attack by the husband;
- some studies suggest that women’s violence is more likely to be self defence where the male partner is violent;
- men’s violence towards women is most often an attempt to control, coerce, humiliate, or dominate by generating fear and intimidation. However, women’s violence is more often an expression of frustration in response to their dependence or stress, or their refusal to accept a less powerful position; and
- most women whose partners are violent live in fear before, during, and after separation from them. However male victims are far less likely to be afraid or intimidated, and are more likely to be angry.
-Bagshaw, D, Chung, D Couch, M, Lilburn, s & Wadham, B, Reshaping responses to domestic violence, Office for the Status of Women, Department of Prime Minister and Cabinet, Canberra 1999.
okay? i love how men experience a small portion of violence at the hands of women, like a fucking cut on his arm and he thinks he’s a full blown domestic abuse survivor worthy of shitting on all the experiences of the women who die or are hospitalised at the hands of male violence every fucking week.
like okay, it’s shitty that your girlfriend cut you or scratched you or whatever she did, i’m not sure it’s not clear but come back to me when you’ve had to spend years as a child watching your step dad pin your mum down on your bed while you were quietly playing just so he can spit on her face because she was trying to stand up for herself against him.
nobody says women can’t abuse men, the argument is that the abuse on female victims is far more severe and should be the main focus point, when you make posts like this you are actually erasing the entire struggle that we go through every day because you need to make your little issue front and centre and of course everyone cares about the white male’s issues more than anyone else!!!!
Not to mention male violence has historical and political context surrounding it. Men for thousands of years, globally have been using violence to subjugate, silence, and seek dominance over women. Female-to-male domestic violence is deviant, but male-to-female domestic violence is the norm and is systematically protected.
You would think that this would cause a person to reject the bogus teachings of the manly man’s “girls can’t” narrative so dear to the hearts of misogynists everywhere. But that would shake his world, so he will double down on the misogyny instead.
Wow, guy with a scratch on his hand, feminism doesn’t need you either, ’cause feminism is for women. Even if we were to give you the benefit of the doubt and believe that your injuries were severe and your life was in danger, people not taking you seriously is neither women’s fault nor women’s problem.
looks like a bite mark. women tend to bite hands that grab or choke them
[VICTIM BLAMING INTENSIFIES]
I just want to take the time to appreciate self proclaimed feminists providing me with yet another example of their fucked up selfish view of the world. I also want to appreciate the poster above that victim blaming cumstain above you, for breaking the rosy dream that feminism is for the equality of the genders and that it’s for everyone, like so many of them like to say.
Thank you. Thank you so much for providing me with more examples of why I will never call myself a feminist ever again.
So one man says he was abused and suddenly he’s trying to make every single domestic violence issue about him alone. The fact that he exists erases every single female victim and men deserve no help or recognition whatsoever. There are a tiny handful of shelters that even accept men and they honestly think that women are erased and ignored in favour of men? We see women on here every day claiming they’re oppressed because their “eye rape” wasn’t recognised or taken seriously by police and that just because it’s not as bad as actual rape doesn’t mean it shouldn’t be dealt with but a man who was abused and has the scars to prove it is scum because X thing happens.
It’s awesome how the OP was about male abuse not being recognized or taken seriously, and the comments are filled with people who… don’t take it seriously!
This isn’t a “men have it worse” scenario - this is a “this issue isn’t gendered, so quit treating it as such” scenario.
For all the times I’ve seen feminist gaslight with the ever popular “WAT ABOUT TEH MENZ D;” retort, feminists do a damn good job of silencing victims when they don’t line up with their “men abuse, women are abused” mentality. Stop with the Oppression Olympics. You can’t say that abuse is worse for a group simply because of their gender. There’s a multitude of factors involved that you’re overlooking.
As for the cut…
I have a scar on my knee. It honestly doesn’t look that bad and it’s not that noticeable.
I cut open my knee twice when I was little. The injury made walking difficult for months afterwards.
My grandmother has a little mark on her arm. Considering her age, it could easily be mistaken for those miscolorations that come with age.
She was shot.
My brother has a thin scar on his lower stomach. Nothing too drastic.
He had surgery done when he was only a few months old to fix a rupture in his intestines. He would have died if it weren’t for that surgery.
My dad has a tiny sliver of a bald patch on his head. You honestly can’t see it unless you’re really close.
He was attacked by his brother when he was little. The spot was the result of a machete cutting his head open.
A scar can only tell you so much. Quit being ignorant fucks.
Some of these comments are disgusting and excellent of examples of how the bad side of “tumblr feminism” is harmful. “That little cut?”? Well, I saw a women got a black eye once, nothing was broken and the bruise went away, OMGZ STOP ATTENTION SEEKING AND GET OUT OF THE WAY FOR ALL THE WOMEN WHO REALLY ARE BEING ABUSED, OMGZ!
I have cigarette burns from an abusive ex on the side of my wrist, he would put his cigarettes out on my inner wrist till the embers died, so I have keloid but puckered tear shaped scars on my inner wrist. He also cut me up near my elbow with a blade and I have a fat keloid scar there also. This mans scar is as valid as mine are and if he ever reads this or any male reads this who has had to live through abuse at the hand of a female - I am truely sorry that you had to read some of the responses above. They do not speak for everyone. Awareness of a subject, especially a controversial one will by its nature provoke ignorant responses. For any females or anyone of any position on the gender identity scale who has also suffered abuse at the hand of another I am truely sorry for you also. Victims deserve compassion and understanding, not being picked apart to find out whether they actually are deserving of it from you.
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How race matters in romance (x)
Responses to Black Women were far less than all races, including by their own race.
KEY FINDINGS OF THE AYI STUDY
- Men from all different races prefer a partner of another race over their own.
- Black men and women get the lowest response rates to their messages.
- Most men prefer Asian women (with the exception of Asian men).
- All women (except black women) are most drawn to white men.
- Asian women seem to most strongly favour advances from white men.
- Men are least likely to respond to ‘likes’ from black women.
- Men respond to women around there times more often than women reply to men’s messages.